Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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