One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
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