Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
pray to the hookup gods
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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