it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize