Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize