If that was your dad, he is hot
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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