think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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