I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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