It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
