but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
