Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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