I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
