I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
