I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
