oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
