How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
