I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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