8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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