Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Be still, my beating vagina.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
