It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize