this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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