i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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