Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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