Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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