I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
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