No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
