i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
