just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
