When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
