He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
