He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
