yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
