How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
