I cockslap morals
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
