Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
