too bad you live with your parents still
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
