True but thats because hes a fetus.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
