yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
