love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You can't special order awesome
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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