I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Randomize
