If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize