This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
