Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
