i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
