everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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