dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
