Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
