it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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