hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize