I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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