Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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