He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i've created a new STD.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
