I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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