he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
