Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
