I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I am available for nakedness
as a side note pls kill me
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